BY JOE DIMUZIO
Daily Music Columnist
Published February 14, 2011
Three weeks ago my car died, which has been a total drag. But out of all the convenience it granted me, the thing I miss most about having it is listening to pop radio. So in my Toyota’s memory, I’m reviewing Billboard’s top ten for the week of Feb. 7-13, most of which are new to me.
More like this
1. “Black and Yellow” — Wiz Khalifa
It’s profitable if you can write a hit song about colors. Anybody can make it their anthem. Football teams. High schools. Bumblebees. And thanks to Gucci, yellow hasn’t been this popular since, well, ever.
The song’s video pans over the city of Pittsburgh, fills it with ecstatic teens jumping around in Pirates hats and all. But the best part of the whole thing is the first minute when Wiz wakes up, swags up and goes downstairs to kiss his mom and eat some scrambled eggs (yellow!). He lives at home, and he’s not too humble to admit it.
P.S. Does anyone else think that hook sounds like a circus in hell?
2. “Grenade” — Bruno Mars
Eh, not much to say on this one. I thought it’d be a “Shore” reference, but I was disappointed.
But Bruno’s got a pretty sexy voice. It’s androgynous enough to please anyone, comfortably “weathered” and belts nicely.
Like any video on VEVO, there were more comments about Justin Bieber than Mr. Mars on this one — which is odd only because I realize I’ve come to accept how common that is.
3. “Firework” — Katy Perry
Whew. This song is exhausting. That chorus? It’s a wrist-breaker. The compulsion to fist pump is scary strong.
“Teenage Dream” was triple-A stuff, but “Firework” wants to soar so much it crashes on liftoff. And enough with these pan-LGBT lip service tracks. If you don’t really mean it, don’t bother. You ever felt like a plastic bag? Yeah … me neither.
4. “F**kin’ Perfect” — P!nk
I never realized P!nk had an exclamation point in her name. The song has an F-bomb in the title. Believe in yourself. So like Perry in “Firework,” P!nk sings in widescreen — more power to her. Is this the sort of song which might save somebody from killing themselves? Does P!nk believe that she has that ability to do that? Was it always punk to care?
Like the friend who’s found Jesus, she’s come so far from “There You Go.” I wish we could go back there, but like she said even back then — “Can’t Take Me Home.”
5. “I Need A Doctor” — Dr. Dre ft. Eminem and Skylar Grey
Man, Eminem has never blown harder. I mean that in two ways, and not sexually. We know how he feels about gays.
Post-rehab Eminem spits his rhymes so loud, so hard and so free of range that it’s all become mush. He can’t sit with a single damn beat on any tune, no matter how pop the chorus, how slick the collaborators. And in the end, his shouting amounts to so little. Hell, “We Made You” was better than this.
Well, maybe not.
6. “Tonight (I’m Lovin’ You)” — Enrique Iglesias ft. Ludacris and DJ Frank E
Geez, Euro is back in a big way. We’re in the middle of a recession, and never have people liked to party harder. Or at least hear songs about it. And Enrique has never crushed it harder. But is this song a promise? Running commentary?
Regardless of the answer, no song on this list had as clever a pick-up line as “Let's remove the space between me and you.” Think about that one for a few seconds.
Done? Now another. Is Ludacris impossible to hate? That one might take a little longer.
7. “Rocketeer” — Far East Movement ft. Ryan Tedder
Now, this is how you do it, Katy. “G6” was fun, but this one flies beautifully. Vaguely Balearic, some huge piano and that ubiquitous out-of-the-clouds Bruno Mars hook (it’s sung by Ryan Tedder, but Mars co-wrote). I want an instrumental of this one — it’s airborne.
8. “What’s My Name” – Rihanna ft.